13. Touch it, give it a kiss.. Look at you. Im a cat burglar.Dave:You mean youre a pussy.Scott Lang:Yeah., Scott Lang:Hey, look what I have for you. I dont want to hurt you anymore. "If there is a will, there's a way. Hank Pym:You want a juice box and some string cheese?Scott Lang:Do you really have that?, Dr. Everybody has ideas. Joey: "It's never taken me a week to get over a relationship.". Thor:Let me know if he bothers you again, okay? [raises his arms as energy flows over his hands]Grandmaster:[amused]I didnt hear any thunder, but out of your fingers was that sparkles?, Thor: By Odins beard, you shall not cut my hair, lest you feel the wrath of the mighty Thor! Evidently, there will be a line., [Jane slaps Loki]Jane:That was for New York! That guys brain is a bag full of cats. Is it still the greatest movie in history?, Peter Parker:[catches Mantis]I got you! [Closes his helmet and pushes the button that shrinks him]Kurt:[Gasps, jumps out of chair]This is the work of gypsies!Dave:Thats witchcraft!Luis:[Keeping his cool]Thats amazing. People on earth love me, Im very popular.. But everything's always beginning, too. Maybe they'll inspire you but they'll definitely make you laugh. Then I passed out. Threat: Low to None.Nick Fury:That things clearly busted., Carol Danvers:Keep the Tesseract on Earth. You know, the God of Thunder? [ smiles ]" " James 'Bucky' Barnes: Don't do anything stupid until I come back. And thank you, Ant Man, for this clever and right on point analysis of the situation. Phyllis Diller. 15. . Its called an email.Dr. Funny Quotes. Youre not my friend.Thor:No, no, no. The hum-drum-vee is back there., Tony Stark:Whats on the docket?Natalie Rushman/Natasha Romanoff:You have a 9:30 dinner. While a team being broken apart isnt all that amusing, these are the lines from Captain America: Civil War that are funny! This is gonna get weird, all right? Most of the funny parts of Captain Marvel come from Carol Danvers/Captain Marvels interactions with Nick Fury, but not all of them. Lets bounce before the po-po come back!Scott Lang:Po-po? 1. Youre looking right at him! Stephen Strange:Try me, Beyonc. [Back in Black by AC/DC plays]Peter Parker:Oh, I love Led Zeppelin!, Happy Hogan:Heads-up. Hulk stay. Dont touch anything., Bruce Banner:I dont know how to fly this thing!Thor:Youre a doctor, you have PhDs. Check these out: Were listing the films in chronological order of the events within the universe (rather than when they were released in real life), so of course, we need to start with Captain America! 45 Awesome Marvel Quotes 1. 6. Subscribe. I tried to bench you. It was made from this special metal from the heart of a dying star. [Pepper, glowing with Extremis, swats him away with a pole and looks at Tony, who thought she was dead]Tony Stark:I got nothing., JARVIS:I seem to do quite well for a stretch, and then at the end of the sentence I say the wrong cranberry.. Hes a friend from work! He's brave and selfless and a terrific example. Hes the toughest there is.Thor:Well, hes never fought me.Rocket Raccoon:Yeah, he has.Thor:Hes never fought me twice., Rocket Raccoon:Nidavellir is real? What do you say to that?Tony Stark:Absolutely ridiculous. They were extremely thorough.Darcy:I just downloaded, like, 30 songs onto there., Darcy:[On seeing Thor, whos been hit by their car, lying on the ground]Whoa, does he need CPR? 8. Always be the first-rate version of yourself, instead of the second-rate version of somebody else. "An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.". Happy International Women's Day to the best woman in the world! 1 Jon Stewart The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. In Iron Man 2, Tony Stark seems to be convinced that he can save the world on his own, and he has no interest in joining Nick Fury at S.H.I.E.L.D. Guy never tells me anything.. From jokes about Mjolnir to android-humor, there was plenty to chuckle about in a film with some sad parts. "If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything." -William Lyon Phelps. Im here to pick up a fossil.Steve Rogers:Thats hilarious., Natasha Romanoff:Did you do anything fun Saturday night? "If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you." -Muhammad Ali 2. Elfheim, Nilfheim?Darcy:[frightened, pulls out a taser]New Mexico?Thor:You dare threaten Thor with such a puny weapon? Not all of us can fly., Thor: The girl tried to warp my brain! Youre DONE! Tony Stark:Honestly, at this exact second, I thought you were a Build-a-Bear.Rocket:Maybe I am., Steve Rogers:You know, I saw a pod of whales when I was coming in, over the bridge.Natasha Romanoff:In the Hudson?Steve Rogers:Fewer ships, cleaner waterNatasha Romanoff:You know, if youre about to tell me to look on the bright side Im about to hit you in the head with a peanut butter sandwich.Steve Rogers:Sorry, force of habit., Tony Stark:[to his daughter]Go to bed, or Ill sell all your toys., Korg:[playing Fortnite]Thor, hes back. Hidden.Nick Fury:You sure thats what Marvel would want?Carol Danvers:Mar-Vell.Nick Fury:Thats what I said.Carol Danvers:Its two words. Whosoever holds this hammer if he be worthy. I love him! Ha! [exits]Spider-Man:Wait, Mr. Stark! Live the life you've imagined.". That was really violent." Pepper Potts 8. Sitting there, playing that mind-numbing game, whats boring is me, tripping over your vines every day. Stephen Strange:Yeah. "Instruction ends in the schoolroom, but education ends only with life.". [smiles], James Bucky Barnes:Dont do anything stupid until I come back.Steve Rogers:How can I? See more ideas about marvel quotes, superhero quotes, college graduation cap decoration. Thor:Noobmaster. Send college and high school grads on their way with these special messages. [thumping him on the shoulder]Listen, Im doing you guys a favor by letting you even be here.Okoye:[in Xosha]If he touches you again, Im going to impale him on this desk., TChalla:If you werent so stubborn, you would make a great queen.Nakia:I would make a great queen because I am so stubborn., Shuri:[as a fatally wounded Everett Ross is wheeled into her lab]Great! Tony Stark: [said to a robot] If you douse me again, and Im not on fire, Im donating you to a city college., Christine Everheart:Youve been called the Da Vinci of our time. [zaps Quill, who falls down yelling]Yeah, writhe, little man., Korath the Pursuer:You dont look like a junker. So much has happened since I last saw you. Its about time., Grandmaster:Heres what I wanna know. You can only be young once. Why do you have your toes out in my lab?TChalla:What, you dont like my royal sandals? [Natasha glares at him while Bruce groans and puts his head in his hands]Thor:But not the screams of the dead, of course. Drax's lines weren't just outright funny, they communicated to audience members that truly anyone could be a superhero. Theres no reason to be scared.Luis:Oh, no no. FedEx Driver:[Checks delivery address]Are you Tony .Stank?War Machine:[Tony looks embarrassed, Rhodey nods]Yes, this is, this is Tony Stank, youre in the right place. Stay here. I just keep imagining you waking up in the morning, sir, looking in the mirror and then in all seriousness saying to yourself[deep voice]You know what would be a really kick-ass name? Pay attention. See? "Sometimes you find out what you are supposed to be doing by doing the things you are not supposed to do."-. Im clearly the better pilot!Thor:Is that right? Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Maybe. Me.Dr. Of course Im not a male escort.MJ:Well then youre Spider-Man., Ned Leeds:[to MJ after she finds out Spider-Mans identity]So, you know too. I thought that you could sense that with your Peter-Tingle.Peter Parker:Please stop saying Tingle, May., Flash Thompson:[about Mysterio]Hes all right. You earthers have hang-ups.Ego:Yes, Drax, I got a penis.Drax:Ha! I figured we could go good cop/bad cop. Daddy dont get scared.Scott Lang:Really?Luis:Yeah.Scott Lang:Good. The ending of a year, and the moving on is a time when we reflect on the impact others have had on us. [Crowd howls with laughter. 17. Eternal life as part of the One. You should figure it out.Bruce Banner:None of them for flying alien spaceships!, Hela:[after ripping Thors eye out]Now you remind me of Dad., Thor:Shes too strong. Stephen Strange:Im sorry, Im confused as to the relationship here. Ill handle the music. [Cassie pulls out a Hideous Rabbit]Hideous Rabbit:Youre my bestest friend!Paxton:What is that thing?Cassie Lang:Hes so ugly! With a shout of "Underoos!" he calls in a familiar neighborhood . tags: comics , inspirational , marvel , marvel-comics , stan-lee. Monica: "It's never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship.". "Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.". [starts singing Please, Mr Postman]Nick Fury:Not ringing any bells?Carol Danvers:Keep singing. And so are you. Well, it probably would have hurt, right? Yes. 50 Best Graduation Quotes to Inspire the Class of 2023. there were numerous spots of humor, of course. [awkward silence]Talos:Am I supposed to guess where that is?Nick Fury+Carol Danvers:Your ass!, Carol Danvers:Since when is a shortcut cheating?Maria Rambeau:Since it violates the predetermined rules of engagement.Carol Danvers:I definitely dont remember those., Maria Rambeau:Can I ask you something? Spider-Man follows me? No, that's wrong. Are you spying on me?Hope van Dyne:We keep tabs on all security threats, all right? Why would I be a Garden of the Galaxy?, Ego:I created what I imagined biological life to be like down to the most minute detail.Drax:Did you make a penis?Peter Quill:Dude!Gamora:What is wrong with you?Drax:If hes a planet, how could he make a baby with your mother? Luckily for us all those head-butts also lead to plenty of banter. Threat: High. I mean, that place is a legend. Its savage, chaotic, lawless. When Nick Fury, with the help of Natasha Romanoff . Not hot.Pepper Potts:Am I going to be okay?Tony Stark:No. Stan Lee. You refused.Dr. 13. Sometimes a little too much. [points to Captain America] I just pay for everything and design everything, make everyone look cooler., Thor:No one has to break anything.Ultron and Tony Stark:Clearly youve never made an omelet.Tony Stark:He beat me by one second., Iron Man:Shit!Captain America:Language!, Iron Man:Is no one going to comment that the Cap just said language?Captain America:I know! [Darcy tasers him]Darcy:[to Jane]What? Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard and he is my brother! Easily!Bruce Banner:That doesnt sound rightThor:Well, its true!, Bruce Banner:Youre just using me to get to the Hulk. Give me a hand, will you? Sir., Major Kathleen Kat Sparr: Are you telling me you can make more like him?Dr. Without my hammer, I cantOdin:Are you Thor, the god of hammers?, Valkyrie:[Thor, Banner and Valkyrie arrive in Asgard]I never thought Id be back here.Bruce Banner:I thought itd be nicer. Steve Rogers ( Chris Evans) "I can do this all day." Steve Rogers "I'm gonna need a rain check on that dance." Steve Rogers to Peggy Carter ( Hayley Atwell) "I'm just a kid from Brooklyn.". I assume youre the captain, sir.Rocket Raccoon:Youre very perceptive.Thor:You seem like a noble leader. These are the funniest lines from Avengers: Age of Ultron. Use sunscreen. [Actually dabs], Natasha Romanoff:That Time Stone guy.Bruce Banner:Doctor Strange.Natasha Romanoff:Yeah, what what kind of doctor was he?Tony Stark:Ear/nose/throat meets rabbit-from-hat., Rocket:Quill said he stole the Power Stone from Morag.Bruce Banner:Is that a person?Rocket:Morags a planet, Quill was a person.Scott Lang:A planet? He did not want to be disturbed. Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing worth knowing can be taught. Do you understand?, Ebony Maw:Your powers are inconsequential compared to mine.Tony Stark:Yeah, but the kids seen more movies. Oscar Wilde. Loki, hes alive! 3 "You still think you're the only monster on the team?" The Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015) In a rare moment of calm, the Avengers hide away at Hawkeye's farm house to recover from their battle with Ultron. Not in a creepy way, just more like a respectful appreciation. The Avengers (April 2012) www.hollywoodreporter.com "That man is playing Galaga! - Jennifer Lee. "A person's a person, no matter how small.". "Love can be defined with one word. [Ant-Man becomes giant]Spider-ManHoly shit! Hank Pym:Relax. This film featured a lot of soul-searching and fighting, but the moments of brevity between TChalla and Shuri were probably the funniest parts. Stephen Strange:No, I want to protect the stone.Tony Stark:And I want you to thank me. [Peter nods]Tony Stark:And definitely dont do anything I wouldnt do. Most of Endgame was quite dark and sad, obviously, but no Marvel film would be complete without the signature moments of heroes using humor to get through hard times. Youve been to space., Nick Fury:Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown. Funny Senior Quotes From Movies. A Full List of WandaVision Filming Locations! Let WFH jokes and boss jokes make you laugh as you begin the next chapter of your life after . [beats up Ant-Man], Spider-Man:[to Bucky]You have a metal arm? [Groot nods], Gamora:I know who you are, Peter Quill, and I am not some starry-eyed waif here to succumb to your your pelvic sorcery!, Gamora:And Quill, your ship is filthy. Lets steal the biggest, most obvious ship in the universe and escape in that! 26. No. Peter wraps his arms around him]Thats not a hug, Im just grabbing the door for you., Peter Parker:Wow, theyre in the middle of a heist! Scott Lang:[raises hand]Excuse me, Dr. Pym?Hank Pym:You dont have to raise your hand Scott.Scott Lang:[lowers hand]Okay. [picks up the stuff and throws at him]Thor:Youre being a really bad friend!Hulk:You bad friend!Thor:You know what we call you?Hulk:No!Thor:We call you a stupid Avenger.Hulk:YOU TINY AVENGER!, Hulk:Thor go. "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house." Rod Stewart. With the release of Ant-Man we got to enjoy Paul Rudd joining the MCU. The best part of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 might be baby Groot, but the clever quips certainly come in second. Ill go., Rocket Raccoon:Well, if fate does want you to kill that crap-sack, youre gonna need more than one stupid eyeball. Okay, Im gonna get a Bowflex. [to the Grandmaster]Im just a big fan of the sport., Hulk:Youre Banners friend.Thor:Im not Banners friend. The events of the second Ant-Man film coincided with what was happening in Infinity War, on a parallel storyline. Al Bernstein 4.) [Ross shuts up]MBaku:Im kidding. Stephen Strange:I had to tell you. [Rocket and the Ravagers all fall around laughing], Taserface:[Holding a knife to Rockets throat after having his name being made fun of]New plan! 14. This is the fun-vee. [Hands Cassie a gift]Cassie Lang:Can I open it now?Paxton:Of course sweetheart, its your birthday. Drax: An hour. Except, it sucks. "Welcome to the real world. A cheap trick and a cheesy one-liner?Tony Stark:Sweetheart, that could be the name of my autobiography., The Mandarin:A true story about fortune cookies. Stay up and fight.". This is Well, get ready for a 800-foot statue of Pac-Man with Skeletor and Heather LocklearEgo:You can do anything you want.Peter Quill:Im gonna make some weird shit., Mantis:[about Rocket]The crabby puppy is so cute. [she kisses Steve]Peggy Carter:Go get him. Ive seen good men go down purely because someone didnt let us in on what we were walking into, Ive moved onto the next one, cause thats what we do, right? This is the last day of the first day of school. Were vegetarians., Everett K. Ross:[pursuing Killmongers cache of weapons]Okay, Shuri, I got em. You cant retract it., TChalla:Two people in a room can get more done than a hundred.King TChaka:Unless you need to move a piano., Scott Lang:Ca Captain America [shakes Steves hand vigorously]Steve Rogers:Mr. Lang.Scott Lang:Its an honor. Oh, wait a second, its me! But hes in my custody now. I thought you drowned., Happy Hogan:You handle the suit. Just look at you. [Scott punches her hand]Hope Van Dyne:Terrible.Scott Lang:You wanna show me how to punch? Steve Rogers:Well, all the guys from my barbershop quartet are dead, so no, not really., Sam Wilson:You must miss the good old days, huh?Steve Rogers:Well, things arent so bad. [Groot grunts]Drax the Destroyer:And this green whore is alsoGamora:Oh, you must stop!, Peter Quill:[about Gamora]She betrayed Ronan, hes coming for her. [Drax gestures at his chin and gut]Peter Quill:Gamora, do you think ImMantis:[sensing Thor]He is anxious, angry, he feels tremendous loss and guilt.Drax:Its like a pirate had a baby with an angel.Peter Quill:Wow. Thor:[takes the headset]Noobmaster, hey, its Thor again. Youve gotta clean up your room, its a complete mess!Groot:I am Groot.Peter Quill:Im not boring, youre boring! This this is a man. 100 Best Marvel Movie Quotes Inspirational Marvel Quotes "Part of the journey is the end." ~ Tony Stark, Avengers: Endgame "Tony, trying to get you to stop has been one of the few failures of my entire life." ~ Pepper Potts, Avengers: Endgame "No amount of money ever bought a second of time." ~ Tony Stark, Avengers: Endgame What do you need me to do?Hank Pym:I want you to break into a place and steal some shit.Scott Lang:makes sense., Scott Lang:Well, technically, I didnt rob them. Its not a disguise, Hank. [to Koraths henchmen who keep prodding him]Ninja Turtle, you better stop poking me., Rocket Raccoon:[scans a Xandarian citizen]Can you believe they call us criminals when hes assaulting us with that haircut?. How do you even know that?. It separates who you are from who you can be. Think for yourself. Erik Selvig:Ian!Ian Boothby:Selvig! No!Rocket:He thinks you want him to wear it as a hat.Yondu:[angrily]Thats not what I said!Groot:I am Groot.Rocket:Hes relieved you dont want him to.Groot:I am Groot.Rocket:He hates hats.Groot:I am Groot.Rocket:On anyone, not just himself.Groot:I am Groot.Rocket:[to Yondu]One minute you think someone has a weird-shaped head, the next minute its just because you realize part of that head is the hat. Hes just awesome, okay? After the events of the battle of New York Tony Stark had a bit of a crisis of confidence, but that didnt stop the jokes rolling off his tongue like usual. And if I tear myself in half, dont come back for me.Bucky Barnes:Hes gonna tear himself in half?Captain America:You sure about this, Scott?Ant-Man:I do it all the time. Watch. Well, ImOdin:I know very well who you are, Jane Foster.Jane Foster:[to Thor]You told your dad about me?, Volstagg:Escorting these scoundrels is beneath us.Fandral:Nonsense, my rotund friend. Just let me unravel this puppy and well[Carol blasts the lock off the doors]Nick Fury:You sat there and watched me play with tape, when all you had to do wasCarol Danvers:I didnt want to steal your thunder., Nick Fury:Do you know how to fly this thing?Carol Danvers:Uh, well see.Nick Fury:Thats a yes or no question.Carol Danvers:[powering the engines up] Yes., Maria Rambeau:You call me young lady again, Ill shove my foot up somewhere its not supposed to be. Stephen Strange:Yeah.Dr. Ralph Waldo Emerson Inspirational, Life, Success These Are The 23 Funniest Lines From The Marvel Films And No One Can Tell Me Otherwise Let's relive the good times one last time. Gotta run before you can walk -Tony Stark. Stephen Strange:Im fluent in Google Translate., [Strange is experimenting with time manipulation using the Eye of Agamotto]Baron Mordo:[bursting in]Stop! Thor:Hes adopted., Tony Stark: That man is playing Galaga! Youre trying to tell me that this whole time, you thought Yondu was my actual blood relative?Drax:You look exactly alike!Rocket:*Ones blue! Now she can be found taking numerous photos of their four weird cats, eating lots of stroopwafels and blogging at, best quotes from The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, These hilarious Marvel-themed pickup lines. I do have a ride, though.Rocket:Move it or lose it, hairbag.. We dont talk a lot these days., Captain America:All right, Sam.